Sunday, September 18, 2011

The Rise of the Arian Nation and the Destruction of Dark Helmet

Peter: Damn it. I'm playing Tyson this week and Arian Foster is back. Who are the Texans playing...The Dolphins??? I'm FUCKED!

(Door Flies Open)



Phillip Rivers: You Better Ask Somebodaaaaaaaay!!!!

Peter: Oh, Fuck, It's Marmalard!

Phillip Rivers: Why the large head, Cheesedick? You look like Jesus just bible thumped your asshole!

Peter: Arian Foster is back from his hamstring injury and is going against the Dolphins defense. I'm worried I might lose.

Phillip Rivers: Lose what? You look about as football ready as that limpdick Cutlerfucker in Chicago. Do they even make Helmets in your size?



Phillip Rivers: Oh, you mean that fantasy football fucktardery don't you? Well don't worry because you've got King Laserface, slayer of the wicked and impregnator of good Christian women to see you through. With the power of my Jesus-arm I will lead your homosexual World of Warcraft football team to glorious victory in His name.

(Throws a Canoli to Peter that comes down after the SuperBowl. Prays to have more children)

Peter: (Drinks 12 beers) At least I've still got Chris Johnson...(Drafts someone because their name makes him laugh)
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5 comments:

  1. TyMoSeptember 18, 2011 at 4:19 PM

    I hate fantasy football

    ReplyDelete
  2. MickSeptember 18, 2011 at 10:54 PM

    And Judging by the way your team sucked today, it hates you!

    ReplyDelete
  3. TyMoSeptember 19, 2011 at 12:19 PM

    First Colston and Foster, then Charles, and now Shipley? What the fuck?

    ReplyDelete
  4. The Fist of the North StarsSeptember 19, 2011 at 12:28 PM

    Kissing Suzy Kobler called and they want their Marmalard back

    ReplyDelete
  5. GasHawgPeteSeptember 19, 2011 at 3:16 PM

    See what happens when you fuck with the Big Giant Head?! I doubt Charles will be tweeting a picture of his MRI.

    ReplyDelete

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